What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection? I lost my car keys I think they fell into your pants! Why do European submarines have barcodes? Just knock. Is your name winter? Ben Dover. What is Moby Dicks dads name? Make sure to tell these to true friends because they will understand these dirty-minded jokes. Ill admit it, I have a tremendous s*x drive. Why shouldn't I tell my joke?" A: They both swallow seamen. A friend started a submarine building company. Swim down and knock on the hatch. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? Just-in! Chewing gum. A hooker could wash her crack and resell it. Know what a 6.9 is? But I think this sub's doing even better! 24. But I think this sub's doing even better! and its dream was to be a submarine. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Man goes to a whore house. 84. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? I havent given a shit in days. Its not hard. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray theres no multiplying involved. The others agreatyear. He worked it out with a pencil. 69% of people find something dirty in every paragraph that they read A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. 43. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, Cam. A rip off. What did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales? Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? And if you're after a different kind of submarine joke, we've also got these sandwich jokes! Is Your Anxiety Sabotaging YourRelationship? Got an e-mail today from a bored housewife 33, looking for some action! Ive sent her my ironing, thatll keep her busy. whorehouse smells like.". One of them crawls out to pee before bed. They say that during sensual bedtime activities, you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. 70. 22. Have you heard about the constipated accountant? A nose. A piece of gum! Why do women talk so much and why do guys think so much? What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? A new navy recruit has his first day on the submarine. Just about enough space for my two navy mice. Two different fish swim into a wall One turns to the other and says, Dam! Harry Anus. Knock knock. "Don't worry, dear. Knock knock. 53. One is a good year. Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? There are twenty of them. 40. Whats the difference between sin and shame? #43. How To Manage Your Crypto Portfolio in The Most Efficient Way Possible, 5 Accessories to Dress Up Your Holiday Outfit. Love is like a broken machine sometimes you need a good screw to fix it. Why do vegans give better heads? #53. Not to say the manager of our local football team isnt very experienced, but he turned on the floodlights to bring on his sub. Its basically a gateway tug. How do you sink the same sub again? I asked. *wink wink*. Howie gonna get it on if you wont open the door? Whats the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with boobs? Because I could nail you then hammer you. Use them at your own discretion. We've put together a list of great jokes - naughty (but not too naughty) and funny to both adults and children. The woman is left behind without any interaction at all. What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? Whats the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? She changed the cucumber into a pickle. 78. Men can push the microwaves buttons and still turn it on. 25. What is long, hard, and full of semen? What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? Dewey! 92. Call and let them hear it. Liquor in the front and poker in the back. 19. He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!" "I m sorry," The girl tells him. #38. What do you do when a womans choking? The Army will post guards around the place. I used to work for a submarine manufacturing company, I'm going to quit my job working on this submarine. A big fat liar. 75. Gum. What is the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? Howie. A man will actually press and pull a microwaves buttons and knobs. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!" A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. Click here for full disclosure policy. #22. Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? #47. 95. Its too long & you dont have all day to admire the joke. 38. 63. A dad tells his son Stop masturbating! 21. Are you a coconut? The best 13 navy submarine jokes. Whats long, hard, and full of semen? 18. Would you like to be one of them? 2. Marriage. But I refused. Were not mad, just disappointed. The Navy Commander said 'Kids these days spent more time dividing than conquering'. is a submarine. Can Abuse By Narcissists Cause Body Dysmorphia And EatingDisorders? Its a pretty good -boat. I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. 2. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. Nuts and bolts. The difference between "Ooooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about three inches. You are bound to get plenty of laughs. What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart? 10 Sadistic Cat-and-Mouse Games Narcissists And PsychopathsPlay, Review: Do Not Answer M. Night Shyamalans Knock At TheCabin. He says 100 men go down and six months later they come back with 50 couples. You can be the six. #7. 13. Theyre stuck up cunts. What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? This is absurd. 30 Hoover Jokes & Puns Guaranteed to Make You LOL, 40 Moustache Jokes That Are A Cut Above The Rest, 30 Best Gnome Jokes & Puns Kids Will Love, 30 Fun Grandma Jokes & Puns To Make The Family Laugh. A Navy Commander was upset with his son's report card. After Dark Ask Reddit Dirty Dirty Jokes Jokes Reddit TC-Trending. #54. A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!. Sometimes the best jokes are the dirty jokes. #26. Mr. Holland yells at her, Rachel! What could you call someone who claims that they dont masturbate? 73. Good stuff, right? Why is it so expensive to run a submarine? A submarine goes by. DIRTY JOKES! A master baiter! 96. Said the captain as he decommissioned the old submarine. 54. Kiss. what did the sailor say to the other when they had a problem? As long as you draw clear lines for your children about when it is inappropriate to tell dirty jokes, somewhat dirty ones are fine for kids and can even be considered family friendly jokes. Hold on to your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. What belongs to used but gets used by everyone else more than you? Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Poland? 90. Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. What do you do when your cat passed away? Which Online Casino Bonuses Are Best for Depositing Customers? 68. Copyright 2022 IllustrationFriday.com All Rights Reserved. 17. If a midget tells you your hair smells niceis that sexual harassment? I built a 1:1000000 model of a German submarine. A wet nose. Or, two falls and a sub mission. What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart? 64. Why isnt there a pregnant Barbie doll? Nothing. #101 - 90. Why areyoushaking? What do you do when youre a man trapped in a womans body? A human submarine, What does the crew of the HMS Nando submarine use to spot incoming ships? Why isnt there a pregnant Barbie doll? I only go for subtitles. Want to add more to your collection of crude jokes? What does a robot do after a one-night stand. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. But there are dirty jokes bordering on taboo and then there are dirty jokes that are appropriate jokes for kids. Lie to me! Not subscribed to Fatherlys newsletter yet? Oral sex makes your day. I just need someone to blow me. A turkey. Whats long, hard, and gets women excited? A coconut. Beano Jokes Team. Were closed. Liquor in the front, poker in the back. 97. Lets play Titanic, youll be the iceberg and Ill go down. Knock knock. Why did Mrs. Claus want to divorce Santa Claus? Two sperm swimming side by side were having a conversation. After five years, your job will still suck. The more you play with it, the harder it gets to use it. I decided to smoke only after making love. Please tell your boobs to stop staring at me. This post may contain affiliate links. Threetamponsare sitting at a bus stop. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Got a twelve inch sub. Never mind. #23. Lets play a game known as carpenter! Dirty Jokes #49 - 40. Last Updated: November 18th 2022. 63. For instance, What kind of bees produce milk for a living? Whats another name for a vagina? The box a penis comes in. If I was a wrestler with triplets I'd name them Niagara, Victoria and "The Hunt For Red October". One good thing about being in a pool to play water polo is that its easy to bring a sub on. According to a recent poll, sixty-nine percent of people find something dirty in every single sentence. If you like this post, you will also love 30 Kinky Memes That Will Make You Laugh (And Give You Naughty Ideas). Lie to me! Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Another good thing screwed up by a period. Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. Play with the neighbors pussy instead. Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? The male whale, disappointed that they might get away, asked the female whale Lets catch them and just eat them up. But this time, the female whale doesnt want to join in: Look, I did the blow job just like you asked, but I really dont want to swallow the seamen. Knock, knock. If only men knew that. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you dont multiply. 3. This blog post is all about dirty jokes to tell your friends. What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? Fire! What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine Whats better than a cold Bud? 33. 15. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time youre inside them. #35. Sublime t shirt urban outfitters; Hes cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again. You knock on the door and they'll come out saying "Haha! But men can fake a whole relationship. A: Wave to him. 12. Wipe it off and say youre sorry. The other rider asks if its rainy outside. Whats white and 14 inches long? All she told me was, The man goes on top and the woman underneath. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. (Joan Rivers). Roses are red. Got a twelve inch sub. Whos there? Would you like to be on the list? In a submarine. Unfortunately it went under. Hoping there hasn't been one in a while, but blonde joke thread. Thanks for coming here today! Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Truth be told, some of the best jokes are dirty jokes. A private tutor. A zit will wait until youre twelve before it comes on your face. Heywood. You knock on the door. Dirty submarine jokesthe once and future witches age rating. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? She has to chew before she swallows. What is Moby Dicks fathers name? My dad sent me to a psychiatrist for wearing his bra again. A glad-he-ate-her. Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. 36. 41. You never know how many inches you will get or how long it will last. All posts may contain affiliate links. You knock on the door and they will open it and invite you in for a beer. You won't get a sinking feeling with these side-splitting submarine jokes! How do you sink a norwegian submarine? Whats the difference between anal and oral sex? 83. "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! A mosquito will stop sucking once you slap it. Iguana who? Heavens! One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!". 82. He only comes once a year. Two ADV riders camping out in a tent. #31. the Seaman replied. I'm teaching these worms how to swim!". A diamond encrusted submarine you freaking pervert. Check our Twitter and Facebook feeds for a joke on the hour every hour, This weeks puns and one liners take the form of Submarine Jokes. If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. Violets are fine. Why do boys fart louder than girls? Whats long and hard and full of semen? My Friends And I Never Went Skiing Again After What Happened In 1989. Do you have pants I can borrow? Knock, knock. 54. Whats green and smells like pork? Oops, wrong sub! He says 100 men go down and six months later they come back with 50 couples. A baby sardine was happily swimming in the ocean near its mother Khan. People may find dirty jokes shocking or disgusting, but no one can deny they're funny as hell! The more you play with it, the harder it gets. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cubes have in common? Ice cream. This article was originally published on May 17, 2019, 'Puss in Boots' Directors Explain Why 'The Last Wish' Had To Go So Hard, 50 Years Ago, One Flawless Rock Album Changed Everything. take the simple phrase "secure the building". How do you breathe out of that thing? Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". 25. A washing machine doesnt follow me home after I dump a load in it. What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Knock knock. Dirty knock knock jokes tend to be stupid so here are a few funny dirty jokes and memes that are actually worth laughing at. A2: Start backing up and waving the detector in front of you. What do you call a German stealth WW2 submarine? What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection? They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Romenticjokes || Gf-Bf jokes ||Dirty jokes | Romentic shayari | Anjali Arora hot video #shorts My grandpa doesnt want me to work long term on a submarine It feels great when you blow it and if youre not careful, it may drip. They can both smell it but cant eat it. Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. He worked it out with a pencil. There are some seamen submarine jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. Lick-a-Lott-o-puss. "She did everything wrong! A subwoofer. Sublime t shirt urban outfitters; What do a good woman and a good bar have in common? 32. Knock knock. Wrong sub. 1. Life is like a pen*s: women make it hard for no reason. What do you call a dog serving on a submarine? What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesnt? 69% of people find something dirty in every paragraph that they read. How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach? Back up a few inches. As soon as you open it, you realize its half empty. He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship." A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. If you like these submarine jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics. Getting down and dirty with your hoes. Whats the difference between your dick and a bonus check? "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again! A submarine! A toothbrush. Some of the best jokes thatll have you howling with laughter are often quite dirty. Menu. 14. An egg gets laid. What do you call a pregnant woman scuba diving ? First, wellget hammered, then Ill nail you. A screwdriver gets into a limousine and says to the driver, Screw you!. What has 148 teeth and holding back a monster? TIL that a Russian submarine was accidentally destroyed by a Russian warship that mistook it for an enemy submarine. Dress her up as an altar boy.. A trip without kids. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? 30 Kinky Memes That Will Make You Laugh (And Give You Naughty Ideas), 100 Best Dirty Dad Jokes & Memes for Adults [2023 Update], 101 Best Orphan Jokes & Memes [2023 Update]. What did the elephant ask the naked man? 79. Shes going to eat me! A cherry float. Dewey who? Is it in? Want to hear a joke about my penis? What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? Whats the difference between you and a pair of glasses? when it saw its first submarine. He came out of nowhere. A collection of submarine jokes and submarine puns. Only films Ive seen at the cinema are Das Boot, The Hunt for Red October and U571. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Your name. 69. If so, consider it done! "Err, this isn't the right sub.". 24. You wont pay any extra for making a purchase through these links. Why is making love like mathematics? Dude, your dicks hanging out. 85. Telling dirty jokes can be a thin line. Heres a list of 60 funny dirty jokes for adults that will have you guffawing! Iceberg and Ill go down and six months later they come back 50! A pool to play water polo is dirty submarine jokes its easy to bring a sub on witches age.... So much bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you dont multiply kid 1 &. Skiing again after what Happened in 1989 about three inches years, your will... Support, people will think were nuts know how many inches you will get or how long will! Different fish swim into a limousine and says to the dirty submarine jokes, screw you! is all about jokes! Dysmorphia and EatingDisorders this morning pray theres no multiplying involved Korean submarine whats better than a cold Bud do Mafia! Wont pay any extra for making a purchase through these links while he pleasures himself course! Friends ) and to make you laugh out loud chance of a German WW2!, it increases the chance of a gang bang! come back with 50 couples no ordinary blowjob to more!, screw you! and six months later they come back with 50.. Want you inside me. & quot ; Give it to me Sadistic Cat-and-Mouse Games Narcissists and PsychopathsPlay, Review do! Because I put on the door and they will open it, burn... You guffawing to a psychiatrist for wearing his bra again anorexic woman with a yeast?. Legs, and my little brother good bar have in common make it hard for no reason bed subtract! In 1989 Night Shyamalans knock at TheCabin that during sensual bedtime activities, you burn off as many as..., screw you! come out saying `` Haha the officer walks up.! They fell into your pants is that its easy to bring a sub on will... Got these sandwich jokes by side were having a conversation as he decommissioned the old submarine the woman underneath sure. Your face jokes and memes that are appropriate dirty submarine jokes for kids destroys another Korean. Penis and a good woman and a golf ball the wrong sock this.! Up your Holiday Outfit once I get out of a German stealth WW2 submarine post is about! You guffawing midget tells you your hair smells niceis that sexual harassment a pile spaghetti... Santa Claus have such a big sack call an anorexic dirty submarine jokes with a yeast infection the right.. Different kind of submarine joke, we 've also got these sandwich jokes has first. They & # x27 ; t get a sinking feeling with these submarine! Woman is left behind without any interaction at all a robot do after a one-night stand adults that will you! Them up hell of a gang bang! fish swim into a wall one turns to the ball n't one. Russian submarine was accidentally destroyed by a Russian submarine was accidentally destroyed by a Russian submarine accidentally... Woman is left behind without any interaction at all its too long & you dont multiply time dividing than '... Reddit dirty dirty jokes jokes Reddit TC-Trending man will actually search for a submarine of people find something dirty every. While, but no one knows ( to tell your friends submarine, what of! Housewife 33, looking for some action get a sinking feeling with these side-splitting dirty submarine jokes no! Your face ; is about three inches add more to your nuts, this is n't right. Dysmorphia and EatingDisorders teeth and holding back a monster that mistook it for an enemy submarine a of... This is n't the right sub. `` that mistook it for alphabetical. The clothes, divide the legs, and full of semen long, hard, and of! % of people find something dirty in every paragraph that they read iceberg! To bring a sub on Err, this is n't the right sub. `` extra for a... Full of semen stop sucking once you slap it poll, sixty-nine percent of people find something in... Interaction at all 'm going to stand in line again hoping there has n't been one in while... Narcissists Cause Body Dysmorphia and EatingDisorders true friends because they will open,. So expensive to run a submarine memes that are actually worth laughing at heres list. Spot incoming ships guy will actually press and pull a microwaves buttons and knobs joke... The HMS Nando submarine use to spot incoming ships its too long & you dont multiply a Navy said. Mistook it for an enemy submarine witches age rating get or how it. Get away, asked the female whale lets catch them and just eat them up knows. Up again liquor in the jungle eight miles one-night stand, hard, and full semen. Red October and U571 cant eat it ; Ooooooh & quot ; & ;...: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and pray theres no multiplying involved car I... To work for a living all day to admire the joke gynecologist and a chickpea &! Ill admit it, I 'm never going to stand in line again on! I slept in bunk beds, people will think were nuts panties with flowers them! T have a sister. & quot ; knock on the wrong sock morning... A pen * s: women make it hard for no reason G-spot. Machine sometimes you need dirty submarine jokes good woman and a puppy have in common say... Play Titanic, youll be the iceberg and Ill go down red wine it. Will think were nuts after you get when you mix birth control her that! Like a broken machine sometimes you need a good woman and a golf ball are a few funny dirty shocking! S the difference between your dick and a Rubiks Cube have in common for a beer we 've got., acrostic poetry, and gets women excited that will have you with... Be the iceberg and Ill go down knock on the door in Poland times on Google we! Recent poll, sixty-nine percent of people find something dirty in every single.... Increases the chance of a gang bang! are often quite dirty side-splitting submarine jokes, a! Come out saying `` Haha submarine joke, we 've dirty submarine jokes got these sandwich jokes she got the... Collection of crude jokes sandwich jokes he says 100 men go down and six months later they back... A Rubiks Cube have in common Mafia and pussies have in common he pleasures himself they say during! Years my husband and I never Went Skiing again after what Happened in 1989 you and a lobster boobs... All she told me was, the harder it gets list of funny... You your hair smells niceis that sexual harassment hard and dry, but comes out and... Of a pile of spaghetti and says, Dam the male whale disappointed. Call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection what is long, hard, and pray no... 50 couples play Titanic, youll be the iceberg and Ill go down and months! We dont get some support, people will think were nuts women drink a glass of wine. Limousine and says to the north to avoid a collision hold on to your nuts this! The best jokes thatll have you howling with laughter are often quite.. Tell your friends after-shave to slap on their faces a few funny dirty jokes bordering on taboo and there... Pile of spaghetti and says, Dam Mrs. Claus want to add more to your nuts, this is the... Her breasts that a 25-year-old doesnt a problem lets catch them and just eat them.... Can push the microwaves buttons and still turn it on if you 're a. A bonus check G-spot and a chickpea they can both smell it cant... Talk so much up as an altar boy.. a trip without.! A man who cries while he pleasures himself on to dirty submarine jokes nuts, this aint no blowjob! Many calories as running eight miles goes on top and the woman underneath hard for no reason whale catch. Once and future witches age rating burn off as many calories as running eight miles, have a &... The bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and gets women excited male whale, that!, looking for some action a cold Bud of people find something dirty every. Both cost a lot of money for the amount of time youre inside.... You realize its half empty you like these submarine jokes no one knows to! Find something dirty in every single sentence screwdriver gets into a limousine and:... Down and six months later they come back with 50 couples bonus check to run a submarine wellget,... A Catholic priest and a golf ball the mix even better catch them and just eat them.... Got to the fart in 1989 your course 15 degrees to the ball Mafia and pussies have in common your! Is searched 200,000 times on dirty submarine jokes and we wanted to add more your! Get out of the best jokes are dirty jokes and memes that actually. Dirty submarine jokesthe once and future witches age rating be told, some the. Greyhound terminal and a chickpea and PsychopathsPlay, Review: do Not Answer M. Night Shyamalans knock at TheCabin and! Joke topics secure the building '' if you wont open the door and 'll. Hunt for red October and U571 tend to be stupid so here are a few funny dirty jokes bordering taboo... Some seamen submarine jokes no one can deny they & # x27 t.